Dear Bestie Biz Buddy,
Tonight you called as I was staring blankly at my iPad, having all but given up trying to write a blog post that didn’t want to be written, pondering whether I may be just a little depressed.
I apologise that you barely got to say hello before I dissolved into a blubbering mess. I think you should apologise too – for making me cry. But I bet you’re not even sorry!!
I’ve had such hopes and dreams, and plans, for my blog for this year, 2013. This was the year that I’d start publishing two posts a week, creating awesome content and getting all of my ideas out of my head and onto my blog.
I was going to have my Digital Bookshop up and running by the end of February…
And I planned to have my Gorgeous Green Smoothies ebook out before we head to QLD for the Problogger Event next month. But here I am now, not even confident of meeting my new (self-imposed) October launch deadline.
I know that you’re right: I’m being too hard on myself. On a personal level, 2013 has been an incredibly difficult year for me, and that’s not something I can share here on my blog. To keep moving forward with my biz dreams and goals is so important, but right now it feels a million miles from easy.
Tonight especially, it all just felt like really, really hard work.
When we spoke earlier today, you suggested that I should write about the struggle, about not feeling like I can move forward. But like I told you, sometimes I feel like that’s ALL I’m ever writing about.
If you don’t believe me, check out these posts. I’m starting to feel like a broken record!!
- When Life Gets in the Way
- Making Time to Clear the Mental Clutter
- Will You Stand Up For What You Want? Or Let Your Dreams Wait For Another Day
- Following Your Dreams Isn’t Always Easy… Do It Anyway!
OK, so maybe it’s not all I’ve been writing about (that’s only four posts of the forty-two I’ve published!). But I am totally over writing about the struggle. I just want to start moving forward.
And yes, I shouldn’t be too hard on myself. It does seem though that everyone struggles, to some extent (some more than others!), with creating the work that’s most important to them.
It seems like it’s the work that we’re meant to do – our soul’s work, our ‘right livelihood’ – that we’re most afraid of.
“Are you paralyzed with fear? That’s a good sign. Fear is good. Like self-doubt, fear is an indicator. Fear tells us what we have to do. Remember one rule of thumb: the more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.” – Steven Pressfield, The War of Art
It’s crazy really!
When we actually do this work, it energizes us, it becomes easy, time passes and we wonder where it went, we’ve become so caught up in ‘Flow’.
But to start? To take that very first step? …It can feel sooooooo hard.
When you described me tonight as being ‘utterly unfulfilled’ when I’m not doing this work that I love and need to do, I understood where my earlier tears were coming from.
You’re exactly right. To feel so deeply that I want to move forward and create something of value, but to also feel so stuck and so overwhelmed or that I don’t have the energy that I need in order to do it, is a really, really painful place to be.
“”Now” is the operative word. Everything you put in your way is just a method of putting off the hour when you could actually be doing your dream. You don’t need endless time and perfect conditions. Do it now. Do it today. Do it for twenty minutes and watch your heart start beating.” – Barbara Sher
The bit where I finally get to doing my homework!!
OK, Bestie Biz Buddy… You set me some ‘homework’. It was meant to be the very first thing I did when we ended our phone conversation, but of course, it wasn’t. I’m not very good at following the rules!!
You wanted me to write a paragraph about what exactly it is that I’m here for, what’s the work I absolutely have to do (note that I said it a little bit nicer than you did, without any expletives!!)… Written from the heart…
This was really, really hard. More tears were involved. And some of my own expletives!
I told you that I don’t really know exactly what my purpose is. But you reminded me that I do. I’ve talked about it with you before. I’ve written about it in my blog posts, and on my About page.
It feels so hard to get back to it now though. I seem to have lost focus on the ‘Why’ of my biz dreams. I’ve become so overwhelmed by all the things I could do, would love to do, should be doing, and have never really focused on the one thing that I know I love to do – and am actually really good at.
I haven’t written my ‘Big Why’ so much from the heart like this before either. The perfectionist in me is telling me that maybe I haven’t quite nailed it, which is quite distressing!! But here goes:
What’s my purpose? What exactly is it that I’m here for?
In my heart, I have a dream. To inspire, encourage and experience others living their dreams and doing the thing they’re passionate about – and to be a part of their journey by sharing the books, resources and ideas that will move them forward as they pursue those dreams.
I want to connect with people ‘where the sparks are’ (this awesome phrase inspired by – or stolen from! – Darren Rowse’s opening talk at last year’s Problogger Event).
When I see someone talking about their passion and their face becomes animated – in the same way that my eyes light up when I talk about mine – it feels like the world is a better place because even just one life is transforming from dull to *sparkle*.
And then of course, there’s the ripple effect… Every person who lives a life filled with passion, love for what they do and amazing positive energy has the power then to inspire and transform the lives of so many others.
Whether it’s craft or cooking, gardening, creating a beautiful home or entrepreneurship and creating a dream business, it feels to me like the world would be a much happier, far better place if more people had the courage, EN-couragement (putting courage in!) and resources that they need to pursue those passions and live their dreams.
“What you’re really supposed to be doing is whatever makes your heart sing.” – Barbara Sher, Refuse to Choose
Books, ideas, resources, inspiration… they’re my ‘thing’! They’re the things I naturally want to share, and I find it easy to connect people with just the right book or idea, at just the right time. As a ‘scanner’, with a love for finding beautiful and useful resources and products, it’s true that I really do have a ‘library’ filled with so much value to share with those people who are looking for ways to move forward. It’s just that right now it’s still all in my head and on the pages of my notebooks. And that’s not helping anyone at all!
As Fabienne Fredrickson says, we all need to ‘Stop being stingy, and share our brownies’!
There’s more to my ‘Big Why’. I haven’t even touched on the Why of my Gorgeous Green Smoothies ebook. It’s super-important that I do, I know – but it’s a whole nother ‘paragraph’!! So you’ll just have to wait for my next letter, dear Bestie Biz Buddy! I promise it will be shorter than this one!!
For now, I’m off to create.
You don’t know what a great gift you’ve given me.
Or do you?
Did you already know when you told me to write ‘a paragraph’ that as soon as I had a pen and notebook in hand, I’d find it hard to stop?? When you suggested that I don’t write my paragraph at the computer, but ‘get back to the right brain work’ with pen and paper?
“The most important thing about art is to work. Nothing else matters except sitting down every day and trying.” – Steven Pressfield
I think you knew!!
Dear lovely blog reader,
Do you have your own “Bestie Biz Buddy”? Someone to hold you accountable and occasionally give you the
good kick up the butt motivation you need to keep moving forward as you create the life of your dreams?
Mine is my beautiful friend Jane, who I’ve known for a zillion years, since we were at high school together. We’re on a similar biz & entrepreneurial journey and are able to help each other immensely.
I hope that my Bestie Biz Buddy and I can also inspire, encourage and motivate you!! Let us know what you need!
Image Source: flickr user pedrosimoes7