A month ago I spent some time writing a post that I was really looking forward to sharing with you – a post about where to start when it comes to finding (or creating) work you love.
I’m sure you would have loved it. If I’d finished it!
But that post, about eighty percent written, is sitting in my drafts folder, as yet unshared. (And it’s not the only unpublished post sitting there, believe me!)
I can’t even really tell you what happened.
I didn’t get the post written – and published – as quickly as I wanted to. I lost momentum… and then felt like I needed to get back to working on my ebook. Because I’m anxious that my ebook has also been taking far too long to finish.
I think I got confused… about which direction I need to be focusing my (somewhat depleted at the moment) energies on.
I thought that everything was going to be so much easier now that I have all the hours of my day to work on creating the blog and biz I’ve dreamed of.
I’ve listened to my friends telling me how ‘brave’ I am, to be pursuing this dream of mine rather than settling for a j.o.b. just because it’s what’s expected of me, is more ‘secure’…
I was feeling so brave myself!
… until I started to feel overwhelmed by all of my ideas and all of the choices that I have of which direction to go in.
… until I found the hours passing away with not much to show for them but a few comments on Facebook, and some more ‘research’ (internet surfing!) done for the day. And started to lose confidence in my ability to really do this thing…
Last week, I took what was a huge step, and a big investment in myself and in my belief that I can make this happen. I signed up for Marie Forleo’s B-School, which officially starts tomorrow morning.
I’d heard of B-School before, but never even considered doing it. It wasn’t the right time before. But this year, for me, it is.
Because if I don’t make this biz work now, then yes, I will have to go and find myself a j.o.b. And that’s the very last thing that I want to do.
My dreams are too big for me to spend my days working for someone else, making someone else’s dream happen.
But I know I have a LOT of work to do!!
I’ll be spending the next eight weeks (and probably many more beyond that!) working at getting clarity about how to bring all of my business ideas – that I’ve filled the pages of my notebooks with over the last seven years – together to create a business that I love to work in and you love to visit for inspiration and awesome resources.
I don’t know just how much I’ll get to share with you here along the way. I have no idea at this stage just how much time it will take me to work my way through the course. And of course, I still have the ebook to finish!
But I really look forward to being able to tell you that I have a clearer picture of the direction that this blog and Gorgeous Green Smoothies (the ebook, Facebook page, and very likely a blog too!) will take.
I don’t want all my ‘best work’ to be sitting in drafts folders and notebooks and emails to my beautiful and patient graphic designer.
I believe our gifts and talents are to be shared, not kept to ourselves, and that’s a belief that really underlies everything that I want this blog and all of my work to be about.
It doesn’t serve any of us to hide behind fear, self-doubt and lack of direction or focus – or time! But still, for so many reasons, we do.
I have a steep learning curve ahead! I have a lot of fears to overcome. And some seriously bad habits, like procrastination and perfectionism!!
But I also have an unwavering faith in the journey, and a sense of determination that I have carried with me for a long time.
So wish me luck! And I look forward to checking back in and sharing with you the next steps of this journey!!